Sunday, March 9, 2008

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!

(rec'd via email, credit unknown)

When I was a kid, adults used to
bore me to tears with their
tedious diatribes about how hard
things were when they were growing
up; what, with walking
twenty-five miles to school every
morning... uphill BOTH ways
yada, yada, yada!

And I remember promising myself
that when I grew up, there was no
way I was going to lay a
bunch of garbage like that on kids
about how hard I had it and how
easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe
old age of thirty, I can't help
but look around and notice the
youth of today. You've got it so
easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a darn
Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids
today you don't know how good
you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't
have The Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to
the darn library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to
actually write somebody a
letter...with a pen! Then you had
to walk all the way across the
street and put it in the mailbox
and it would take like a week to
get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters!
You wanted to steal music, you had
to hitchhike to the record
store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day
to tape it off the radio and the
DJ'd usually talk over the
beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy stuff like
Call Waiting! If you were on the
phone and somebody else called
they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID
Boxes either! When the phone
rang, you had no idea who it was!
It could be your school, your mom,
your boss, your bookie, your drug
dealer, a collections agent, you
just didn't know!!! You had to
pick it up and take your chances
mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony
Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We
had the Atari 2600! With games
like 'Space Invaders' and
'asteroids' and the graphics
stunk! Your guy was a little
square! You actually had to use
your imagination! And there were
no multiple levels or screens, it
was just one screen forever! And
you could never win. The game just
kept getting harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater
there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the
same height! If a tall guy or some
old broad with a hat sat in front
of you and you couldn't see, you
were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but
back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no onscreen
menu and no remote control! You
had to use a little book called a
TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to
channel surfing! You had to get
off your tail end and walk over to the
TV to change the channel and there
was no Cartoon Network either! You
could only get cartoons on
Saturday morning. Do you hear what
I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL
WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled
little brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if
we wanted to heat something up we
had to use the stove or go build a
fire.... imagine that!

If we wanted popcorn, we had to
use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing
and shake it over the stove
forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking
about! You kids today have got it
too easy. You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!

You guys wouldn't have lasted five
minutes back in 1980! Oh yea, and
a seatbelt was Mom throwing her
arm across your chest every time
she hit the brakes.

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

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